


Luxuries

by collectingnames



Series: Clayleb Week 2019 [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: ClayLeb Week 2019, Comfort, Dialogue Heavy, Fate, M/M, beliefs, caleb may know a lot of words but he's real bad at using them, clayleb - Freeform, set in the xhorhaus, soft with a dash of angst, spoilers up to ep83
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 06:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collectingnames/pseuds/collectingnames
Summary: Trying to figure out Halas's magical theory brings up fate.------------------------------------------------Caduceus sat there on the couch in front of the fireplace, Caleb’s head resting on his thigh, teetering on the edge of sleep.  It was nice, knowing that Caleb felt safe enough around him to fall asleep like this.  There were no greater safeguards, Caleb hadn’t set down his silver wire or anything of the sort before he was already dozing off.  He ran a hand through Caleb’s hair, smoothing his hand against his scalp.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast
Series: Clayleb Week 2019 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536146
Comments: 1
Kudos: 76





	Luxuries

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 4! "Destiny" Fate/Belief. Arguably connected to my very first clayleb fic "If you'd like" however it can be read without having read that one. Here's to hoping any of this weird rambling about fate makes sense. (Gotta love that feeling of 'just because I know words doesn't mean I'm good at using them')

Caduceus sat there on the couch in front of the fireplace with his tea, Caleb’s head resting on his thigh, teetering on the edge of sleep. It was nice, knowing that Caleb felt safe enough around him to fall asleep like this. There were no greater safeguards, Caleb hadn’t set down his silver wire or anything of the sort before he was already dozing off. He ran a hand through Caleb’s hair, smoothing his hand against his scalp.

Caleb stirred, sitting back up, “Hm? What?”

“Nothing, nothing, you were just falling asleep is all,” Caduceus kept running his hand through his hair.

“I,” he yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, “I did not mean to fall asleep. Just, we’ve been running on fumes recently.”

“Hmm, well, things really took a turn recently. Have you made any progress with Halas?”

Caleb leaned against his shoulder and groaned in frustration, “Gods! I swear the moment we get him out of that fucking ruby I never want to see him again. He keeps claiming that the words to explain his magical theory on the permanence of shape-changing and time don’t translate. So I keep trying to talk to him in Zemnian but his dialect is so _ old _. But he keeps forgetting words in Common because he was stuck alone in the dreadnaught for so long so he’s gotten rusty. I swear he is just jerking me around! He doesn’t talk to himself in Common he uses Old Zemnian! And-!”

“Do _ you _ talk to yourself in Zemnian?” Caduceus mused, his mind latching onto that little detail.

“What? I mean, yes, I suppose so. I do not really keep track of it,” he tucked his legs up onto the couch so he was sitting cross-legged on the couch.

“Huh, have you gotten _ anything _ out of him?”

“He’s a little more forthcoming with his shape-changing theory. Perhaps, he does not trust me with time,” he stared down at the floor.

Caduceus hesitated, the question struggling to get out, “Do you trust _yourself_ with time?”

Caleb’s face fell, mulling over the question. Oh. That, that was a _ long _ silence he was getting. Oh boy, please say something. He moved his hand so it rested reassuringly between his shoulder blades.

“Caduceus,” Caleb started.

“Yes, Caleb?”

“I have to figure this out. I need to do this for Nott, I made a promise to her.”

“I didn’t ask about the shape-changing,” he tried guiding him back on track.

“Caduceus, you believe in destiny. I,” he sighed, retreating into his coat, “I cannot, I cannot believe in destiny. I wish I could, I wish I had the luxury of fate.”

“What makes it a luxury?” He cocked his head trying to look him in the eye, genuinely confused, but Caleb only retreated further.

“I,” Caduceus could feel him start to tremble under his palm, “If fate is real that means there is no way to undo what I have done. I need to fix things and if there is some force of nature that will just snap things back into place the moment I try to change anything then it is a futile effort.” 

“If it makes you feel any better,” he considered the isolation of his home, far longer than he would ever like to dwell on, “destiny or fate or whatever we’re calling it from moment to moment. It doesn’t make the things that have already come to pass hurt any less.”

“That makes sense,” he muttered.

“It would be a bit strange if the _ only _thing at work was fate, right? There’s a bit of chaos in the world. I guess, maybe it’s just a mix of things, sometimes you get a little more than the other,” Caduceus didn’t know if he would believe anything he was saying five minutes from now but it made enough sense to be reassuring.

Caleb eased, lying back against the back of the couch. His eyes were tinted red but not watery. A sigh drew out some of the tension that had made its home in him. What would Caleb do if he ever did get the information he wanted out of Halas? He’d help Nott get back in her old body without a second thought, that went without saying. Shit, what would _ he _ do with time? One idea comes to mind.

“I told you we are your destiny,” he stared up at the ceiling, a glimmer of something in his eyes where they crinkled at the corners.

Not quite sure of the best way to respond, he moved on, tried to lighten the mood. There was a slight teasing to it, “Hm, maybe it’s one of those luxuries that’s an acquired taste.”

“_ Good booze _, is an acquired taste,” Caleb went back to leaning up against Caduceus’s side.

‘Good booze’ was a bit of a misnomer in his opinion but not really the point, “What does that make fate, then? How does it fit into this little metaphor?”

“I’ll have to let you know,” Caleb yawned.

He kissed him on the top of his head, “I’m eager to find out, then.”

It didn’t take long for Caleb to plummet back towards sleep, shifting into that comfortable spot where he could rest his head on Caduceus’s shoulder. Caduceus just picked up his tea from where he’d set it down, tried to finish the last of it before it went completely cold. It only took a few minutes for Caleb to go completely lax, in almost the exact same position as before with his head resting on Caduceus’s thigh. The crackling in the fireplace muffled Caleb’s soft snoring. He could just barely hear it, making his ears twitch when he strained to listen to it. He probably couldn’t get up without waking him. 

“We can move if you want,” Caleb mumbled sleepily against his leg.

“Oh! You’re awake! I mean, we can stay here if you want. I know it’s not very warm in your room,” he pushed Caleb’s hair back out of his face.

“That is no problem, you are very warm, Caduceus.”

“It would be a lot easier to cuddle if we maybe had more room than a couch,” he started getting up.

Caleb lingered in his spot sprawled on the couch while Caduceus extinguished the fireplace, “Mmm, come back, you’re warm.”

“I’ve been up less than a minute. Now come on, get up. I’m not carrying you,” he nudged him.

Caleb held onto his wrist and pulled himself back up to his feet, and jokingly whined, “Why not?”

The yawn finally hit him, “Because I’m tired too and if I drop you that’s going to be a whole other mess.”

“You wouldn’t drop me,” Caleb didn’t protest at all as he just let Caduceus lead the two of them back to his room.

Caduceus tilted Caleb’s head back so he could kiss him, “You’re not quite so scrawny as when we met, who knows?”

Caleb dressed down to his shirt and pants and climbed into bed, “Are you going to join me?”

He kicked off his boots and joined him, curling around him under the sheets, “Of course.”

Caleb sleepily mumbled against his chest, “I trust you with time, _ liebling _.”


End file.
